Revelations

I was born in 1926. I have lived through some of history's biggest mistakes. Though that is not entirely true, I didn't survive the end of World War II. I died in 1941. I was 15 years old. I did see the end of the war, however. I'm sure my readers are wondering how this is possible. Can you handle the knowledge?

The year is 2009 and I am 23. Clearly you can see that I have lived a long life. Maybe you believe in monsters. Perhaps you don't. The truth is it took me a long time to recover my humanity. In 2001 I enrolled in High School. That was the last year I drank the Elixir of Life.

The Elixir of Life. More commonly known as blood. I'm sure by now you may have figured out what you think I am. I'm also sure that you have read about my kind all your life in books or watched TV shows about us. The facts are that everything you know, is a lie.

Since 2001 I have aged. Every year I get older. As long as I never drink the blood of humans I will continue to age and one day die. Hopefully I will die surrounded by loved ones at a very old age. While it's true I am old now, to everyone else I appear quite young.

Glamour? Perhaps it's a myth. Maybe it's not. I'm not entirely sure. Sometimes it seems like I can get people to do what I want them to. Other times they look at me like I'm a crazy person.

Here are the facts: My memory is flawed. What ever you've read in Twilight or various other books, is a lie. I can survive on regular food. Hamburgers, chicken and veggies. They do sustain my life. I am not incredibly strong. That is just ridiculous. Though, it is true that my canines are slightly longer and my jaw muscles are over developed, it would be a simple task to tear out your throat. If I could get close enough. My skin is not impervious to all things. If I get shot, I die. If I get stabbed, I bleed.

There are many other things that I could share, but I feel like for now this will do. I may be in danger now anyway. My choice to share this information will have The Others coming for me. When they find me, I'm not sure what they will do.

Goodbye, for now.

Dead Memories

Good song. Interesting Video. Check it out.

Ramblings

I am told I don't blog enough. This is my effort to slightly correct. As far as I know there are only maybe 2 people that even see this anyway, so Here is to you my lovely wife! Here is to you anonymous person/s!

Also, have a cookie! And pretend I gave it to you! Watch your step on the way away from your computer after reading this! I'd hate for you to trip.

No shut up and go read something more worth your time! :)

It's Been Awhile

So it's been over a month since my last post. I don't think I'll do anything like that one again. Life sucks. People say "Life Sucks and Then You Die" but they forget to mention that life sucks a lot before you die. A LOT! People go through sooo much crap for 70 years THEN they finally die.

I've got 50 more years of this shit ahead of me. Asshole people, bills, never having any fucking money. It'll never end.

The Blue Door

I walk closer. I can see the outline. The Door is blue. I don't understand the significance of the color blue. The hallway is long, almost endless. I keep walking. At this rate I'll probably reach The Door in a few hours. Oddly It seems I should make it in only a few minutes.

What is going on? Why is it taking so long? What is on the otherside? Will it be something wonderful? Or something terrible? I hope it's wonderful. I hope it's heaven.

Wait! Heaven?! Am I dead? I can't be! I'm so young, there are so many things I haven't done yet! Oh, I hope I'm only dreaming. I don't want to die. I want to buy a car, have sex, see Rome and live a very long time.

I know. I'll just turn around. Everything will be fine. What the hell?! The Door is everywhere! Everywhere I look, no matter where I turn I'm facing The Door! This is wrong. I'll stop moving. That way if I'm dreaming I'll just sit here until I wake up.

What's the last thing I did before I was here? I don't even remember falling asleep. I can't remember talking to anyone. Holy shit! I can't remember who I am! Wait. I'm not moving but I'm still getting closer to The Door. I'm getting scared.

I wish I knew who I was. It's going to be awful to go to Heaven, Hell or Death without a name. Do I believe in Heaven and Hell? Ugh. I don't remember. Am I Married? Do I have Children? The Door is getting closer. I need to try to remember.

Was I a good man? Did I kill people? Why is it so hard to remember. This Hallway is dark. No! I can't get distracted. I need to remember. Do I live in a nice house in the good part of town? What town am I from? Who are my Parents? How old am I?

Closer. The Door is getting closer. I don't have much time. It's cold in here. I can see a light underneath The Door. There is no noise. Or maybe I'm deaf. I have to try harder. I think my name starts with a J. That sounds right. John? No. Jim? No.

Here it comes. This is it. Just a few more feet. They seem to come so slowly. What surely has only been a few minutes feels like hours. Days even. I can picture a Woman now. Oh, She's beautiful. Green eyes. Long, thick, brown hair. Rosey cheeks. Her lips are the color of a ripe red apple.

Her skin is pale. Cold. Yet her visage is warm and inviting. I can see her smiling. She has the most wonderful smile. Who is she? Is she my wife? Did I kill her? I hope I didn't have anything to do with something so awful.

The Door is so close now. The picture of the woman in my head is fading. I wish it wouldn't. I could stare at her forever. She's almost completely gone now. It's so depressing. I can see her waving at me.

I've reached The Door. It's time to open it. I'm so afraid. My hands are shaking. What lies ahead? I wish there was some sort of sound. It would give me comfort to have some sort of Idea about what I'm walking in to.

Here goes. It's so bright! My eyes hurt. What's going on? I can hear now. I still feel cold, but I can hear. What is that sound? I think it's talking. It sounds like some men, maybe three, and a woman. She sounds agitated.

One of the men Is looking down at me. I can't quite understand what he's saying. Now there is a strange woman over me. She's not the woman I pictured in the hallway. She gave me a blanket.

There she is! It's the Woman! I still don't know her. Atleast now I know that she's real. I didn't just imagine her. She looks sad. No. I spoke to soon. She is crying but she is happy. Tears of Joy. I must know her. Why would she be crying over me?

I'm so hungry. It's funny that I didn't realize until just now. I'm so hungry I feel like crying. That's just silly. Why would I cry? Oh well... I'm crying anyway. Maybe it's ok. Maybe she thinks I'm happy to see her too.

I am happy to see her. To know she's real and not just something I made up in my head. She isn't cold now. She's warm. She's smiling at me again. She's giving me a bottle. What's going on? I feel the strangest urge to drink from it.

I hear one of the men talking again. He's talking about a baby. About naming a baby. I think he's talking about me! I'm no baby! I wish I could tell them all who I am. I just can't remember. Also, this bottle is so good.

Oh! Bottle! Baby names! I really am a baby! They are telling me my name is Justin. That explains the J. Nothing else matters. This beautiful woman is my Mother. Mom... That's the most important thing. I've only known her for a few minutes but I love her so much.

I feel at peace. Happy. Loved. Wow, I'm tired. I think I'm going to stare at Mother for awhile and fall asleep. She really is wonderful. My Mother...

Faces of Death

I recently watched the 1978 film "Faces of Death", and mostly it wasn't too bad. A few autopsies a couple of people getting mauled by animals, some traffic accidents where people had been mowed down by semi tractors. None of these were nearly as bad as the inmates.

The first of the 2 men that were to recieve capital punishment, had killed his step sister when he was 13. I know what you're thinking, How can anyone give a damn at all about a murderer? Normally I would be thinking that as well.

He was to be punished by being put in the gas chamber. Which is kind of a pussy way to die anyway, but they show the man walking from his cell to the chamber. The way there, even for me viewing, seemed to take forever. The man was sweating and his eyes were darting around like crazy. He looked like a curious little boy, possibly no older than he actually was when he committed his crime.

I couldn't help but feel sorry for him as I watched the two guards strap him in to the final destination of his life. Then, the guards sealed the door and started the gas. The whole time the camera was on the man in the chamber. For the first several seconds he attempted to hold his breath, but of course as we all know, it is inevitable to suck in that big breath of air. In this case it was cyanide gas.

After about 60 seconds of hacking and heaving the man was still. At this point I was completely satisfied that he probably got what he deserved, regardless of my feeling pity for him before. Then they showed the next man...

At first I was content with hating this man. He appeared to show no remorse, and the narrator even commented on how when he was asked why he did what he did he just smiled. Some may think that this man committed the worse of the two. He beat, raped and murdered a women because she wouldn't give him her purse.

While being walked to his ultimate doom, the narrator mentioned that during that walk to man told him that he did not infact WANT to die. Of course, no one does WANT to die, but why did he murder the women? At any rate, it doesn't matter. He is taking is long walk down the short mile.

When the man was presented in front of the electric chair, his over all beat completely changed. This was when I started to pity him. His knees went weak, his whole body was shaking from obvious fear. In that moment he knew that he had done a terrible evil and he was about to pay for it in the worst way.

He was strapped in. The guards taped cotton gauze to his eyes, which the narrator said was so they didn't pop out of his head. Everyone cleared out, and the switch was flipped. For the next 60 seconds the man was fed 2,000 volts of electricity. When time was up a Doctor was sent in to check on the man.

He was not dead. The Doctor left the area and the electricity was started up again. This time the man's mouth was foaming and his whole body was convulsing. The end of it was signified by a large amount of blood seeping from where his eyes were covered. At this point I realized that was the worst thing I had seen on the whole movie.

Up until that moment I had always said that those that ended up "Riding the Lightning" were getting what they deserved. I am now under the impression that there is nothing in the world that any person could ever do that could justify a seat in the chair. I would rather see a man hung up in a noose, or gagged by cyanide gas or given a lethal injection.

I'll end this now by saying that since they obviously still use the chair in some places, they should show that video to troubled children. If that doesn't stop them from killing or raping or whatever their crime may be, I don't think anything can save them.

Life

So, It's obviously been a few days since my last blog. Not that anyone will ever see it. Here is kind of a catch up on the past couple weeks.

I had the worst work week EVER. Nothing worked, I mean NOTHING. The computers were messed up, the whole damn server was down and the IT guy wouldn't bother fixing it until friday fuckin night. That is Monday-Friday with nothing working right. I had to manually write up over 1000 orders.

The next week went mostly ok. Still had shit not want to work right. That's ok though cause that's mostly normal here.

THEN!!!!! This Friday night (4/3/09) My Xbox 360 bricked. It took a dive. The DVD drive decided to fail. So my awesome wife decides we're going to Wal-Mart to get a new one. I walked in thinking I would just get an arcade so it was only a $200 purchase.

THEY WERE OUT! What the fuck!? So I ended up getting a Pro, which is not bad in itself. Just that I gave Microsoft another 300 bucks. Whatever, atleast when this one gets the dreaded semi-circle of death I can get it repaired for free for 3 years. The first one was just barely 3 years old.

Why do we keep giving Microsoft our money? It's because they are superior with customer satisfaction to Sony and Nintendo. So yes I pay 8 dollars every damn month to play video games on line. I also apparently pay $300 every 3 years for a continued experience.

The past couple of days have been just great though. My son, 2.5 years, decided he was ready to start potty training on his own! So that is GREAT. My dogs are slowly learning not to piss in my fucking dining room. My wife might be starting to get her sense of humour back.

All in all, Life is good.