The Blue Door

I walk closer. I can see the outline. The Door is blue. I don't understand the significance of the color blue. The hallway is long, almost endless. I keep walking. At this rate I'll probably reach The Door in a few hours. Oddly It seems I should make it in only a few minutes.

What is going on? Why is it taking so long? What is on the otherside? Will it be something wonderful? Or something terrible? I hope it's wonderful. I hope it's heaven.

Wait! Heaven?! Am I dead? I can't be! I'm so young, there are so many things I haven't done yet! Oh, I hope I'm only dreaming. I don't want to die. I want to buy a car, have sex, see Rome and live a very long time.

I know. I'll just turn around. Everything will be fine. What the hell?! The Door is everywhere! Everywhere I look, no matter where I turn I'm facing The Door! This is wrong. I'll stop moving. That way if I'm dreaming I'll just sit here until I wake up.

What's the last thing I did before I was here? I don't even remember falling asleep. I can't remember talking to anyone. Holy shit! I can't remember who I am! Wait. I'm not moving but I'm still getting closer to The Door. I'm getting scared.

I wish I knew who I was. It's going to be awful to go to Heaven, Hell or Death without a name. Do I believe in Heaven and Hell? Ugh. I don't remember. Am I Married? Do I have Children? The Door is getting closer. I need to try to remember.

Was I a good man? Did I kill people? Why is it so hard to remember. This Hallway is dark. No! I can't get distracted. I need to remember. Do I live in a nice house in the good part of town? What town am I from? Who are my Parents? How old am I?

Closer. The Door is getting closer. I don't have much time. It's cold in here. I can see a light underneath The Door. There is no noise. Or maybe I'm deaf. I have to try harder. I think my name starts with a J. That sounds right. John? No. Jim? No.

Here it comes. This is it. Just a few more feet. They seem to come so slowly. What surely has only been a few minutes feels like hours. Days even. I can picture a Woman now. Oh, She's beautiful. Green eyes. Long, thick, brown hair. Rosey cheeks. Her lips are the color of a ripe red apple.

Her skin is pale. Cold. Yet her visage is warm and inviting. I can see her smiling. She has the most wonderful smile. Who is she? Is she my wife? Did I kill her? I hope I didn't have anything to do with something so awful.

The Door is so close now. The picture of the woman in my head is fading. I wish it wouldn't. I could stare at her forever. She's almost completely gone now. It's so depressing. I can see her waving at me.

I've reached The Door. It's time to open it. I'm so afraid. My hands are shaking. What lies ahead? I wish there was some sort of sound. It would give me comfort to have some sort of Idea about what I'm walking in to.

Here goes. It's so bright! My eyes hurt. What's going on? I can hear now. I still feel cold, but I can hear. What is that sound? I think it's talking. It sounds like some men, maybe three, and a woman. She sounds agitated.

One of the men Is looking down at me. I can't quite understand what he's saying. Now there is a strange woman over me. She's not the woman I pictured in the hallway. She gave me a blanket.

There she is! It's the Woman! I still don't know her. Atleast now I know that she's real. I didn't just imagine her. She looks sad. No. I spoke to soon. She is crying but she is happy. Tears of Joy. I must know her. Why would she be crying over me?

I'm so hungry. It's funny that I didn't realize until just now. I'm so hungry I feel like crying. That's just silly. Why would I cry? Oh well... I'm crying anyway. Maybe it's ok. Maybe she thinks I'm happy to see her too.

I am happy to see her. To know she's real and not just something I made up in my head. She isn't cold now. She's warm. She's smiling at me again. She's giving me a bottle. What's going on? I feel the strangest urge to drink from it.

I hear one of the men talking again. He's talking about a baby. About naming a baby. I think he's talking about me! I'm no baby! I wish I could tell them all who I am. I just can't remember. Also, this bottle is so good.

Oh! Bottle! Baby names! I really am a baby! They are telling me my name is Justin. That explains the J. Nothing else matters. This beautiful woman is my Mother. Mom... That's the most important thing. I've only known her for a few minutes but I love her so much.

I feel at peace. Happy. Loved. Wow, I'm tired. I think I'm going to stare at Mother for awhile and fall asleep. She really is wonderful. My Mother...